phantompharoah

 

COSMETIC SURGERY CASUALTY

 

From what I have read my experiences would suggest that I have lived with what would now be classified as Depressive disorder NEC .

I have never been diagnosed or sought treatment for any form of mental illness.

 Recurring bouts of self doubt /depression and low self esteem have simply been part of my life as long as I can remember.

 I am therefore not a “qualified” expert on this subject in the academic sense or as a patient in the Mental Health Industry.

The observations here come from nearly 30 years spent either participating in, or trying to overcome, the effects of self harming activity.

My methods of self harm manifested mainly through addictions.

Although I never indulged in cutting, or mutilation, all the negative thought patterns and actions documented in these cases were very much part of how I perceived life. It could also be argued that intravaneous drug use is a form of self inflicted injury.

20 years of extensive Meditation practice has enabled me to eradicate a fair proportion of the causes behind these problems.

It has also provided me with an understanding of how these negative emotions affect the mind and body.

 

I will explain some more of this after writing my thoughts about what self harm is and its possible causes.

 

MY TAKE ON SELF HARM

 

Self harm is an activity that has probably been around as long as there have been people who have suffered emotional dislocation or trauma.

It is only comparatively recently with the advent of EMO’s and a higher press coverage that it has become an activity more people are at least vaguely aware of.

 Self flagellation, although not common, was a practice used for supposed spiritual advancement in some Christian monastic orders. A totally erroneous view point from my current spiritual understanding.

 The form of self harm varies enormously both in severity and how readily it is identified as such.

Any self inflicted activity which is detrimental to a persons physical well being qualifies. Cigarette or any other form of addiction is as much self harm as the physical act of cutting or mutilating oneself is.

Eating disorders are another form of self harm.

 A person will often use different forms of self harm at different times. The severity and duration of the activity will depend on the degree of damage done to the persons emotional development. I am sure some people manage to “get over it” and live apparently normal lives.

However anyone who has shown tendencies in this direction is probably emotionally damaged at some level.

There is a very real chance that it will be triggered in the future if they have not taken steps to remove the root causes.

 

PROBABLE CAUSES

 

 Identifying a definite cause is not always simple. A series of events may be behind the issue and it will depend totally on the individual person as to how badly affected they might be by the events.

 Sexual / physical abuse as a child or adolescent is often a major cause for this activity but can be difficult to determine.

Depending on the person, or age it happened, it is possible that their mind has put a total block on conscious awareness of the events. Even if they are aware of the event they will usually feel such a degree of shame that they will never admit or discuss it with any one.

 Emotional neglect, or any upbringing which leaves a person without a sense of being loved or valued, will create a situation where emotional development can be delayed or even stopped.

 The subconscious mind is still very much aware of these events and it is this that will trigger a self harm activity. The subconscious mind is far more powerful than the conscious mind.

Being able to identify situations which bring on these triggers is a major step in beginning to prevent recurrence.

This is not always an easy matter. Sometimes the trigger may be almost instantaneous but at others it may take hours or days to filter through. With addictions they have become so habitual that the trigger and the physical craving are almost impossible to separate.

 Deep seated emotional blockages causing a very low level of self esteem are behind self harm activities.

THESE ARE NOT YOUR FAULT. The realisation of this fact is crucial to starting any recovery process.

 They are the result of events or conditionings that you were possibly not even aware of or had any control over.

Depression and anxiety in varying degrees of severity are part and parcel of the whole thing.

There is really no way to separate the psychological issues completely as depression,anxiety,panic attacks etc can all lead to self harming episodes.

They all go round in a never ending viscious cycle.

 

 

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

 

It is sometimes thought that self harmers are a danger to others but this is totally wrong.

 People who involve themselves in self harm are almost never likely to harm anyone else.

Due to the emotional blockages or non development there is a very low level of self esteem. Consequently situations which arouse anger and frustration are seen to be caused by themselves and everything is their fault.

They tend not to blame their problems on other people; which is the usual reaction of violent people.

Any reactions they take in these circumstances will be against themselves, not any one else present.

Faced with violence or abuse they will usually think it is all they deserve; and not attempt any form of retaliation.

 

It is not a way of seeking attention. Most people who indulge in self harm are ashamed of the fact and will try and hide it from others; especially those who may be closest to them emotionally.

 

TREATMENT

These are my opinions and should not be taken as any form of guide or recommendation. Before starting any type of treatment you should do as much research in to it as possible.

 

MEDICATION

Some schools of thought claim it is a physical illness or chemical imbalance and as such can be treated with psychotic drugs.

I have never taken prescribed psychotic drugs so am not able to comment on their effectiveness. From people I know who have it would appear to be a very mixed reaction. They work well for some but for others they are pretty bad news. Some work on one person but not at all for another.

Every ones metabolism is different so you should try and get as many opinions from people who have been prescribed them as possible.

These opinions will be of more value than information provided by drug companies as it will be unbiased. Always ask about side effects.

For the unfortunate people who have severe and multiple mental challenges these may be the only way for them to get by.

From my understanding of how the mind purifies itself from blockages and malfunctions they will only suppress the reactions and never cure the underlying problem.

 

The ability of the body to produce or process certain chemicals can definitely affect moods and associated behaviour. If correctly diagnosed I would assume this can be remedied.

To me this would be the only situation in which medication has any ability to actually heal or cure the problem.

 

DIET / LIFESTYLE

 Diet, exercise and healthy social contact are definitely hugely beneficial in reducing the occurrence of depressive states which will often lead to self harming activity. Once again this is still not a complete cure. Apparently fit and healthy people are still liable to suddenly find themselves in a self harming state.

 If diet and exercise were a significant factor, why is it that there is a prevalence of cutting activities in teenagers and young adults when they are actually approaching or at their physical best?

 

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY (CBT)

 From what I have read about this procedure and my understanding of the mind process this should definitely be of some benefit in cases where emotional damage is behind the problem.

 The principles behind it seem very similar to the meditation I do which has been so effective for me. You need to discover and face the very things which are the cause of the emotional blockages.

 This is basically a self help option under the guidance of a counselor with definite steps and actions to be carried out.

 As with any self help option it requires 3 things to have any chance of working

        1 The person must admit there is a problem and want to be helped.

       2 They must recognise it is not a physical disease and they have the  ability to change.

       3 They must understand that the causes of the problem were not their fault.

 

COUNSELLING

Being able to talk out issues and recieve encouragement or guidance in solving problems is definitely helpful in any situation.

It is essential that you have a counselor with whow you can relate . Check out several different ones to find out what philosophy their counselling sessions focus on and ask definite questions about any beliefs or issues that are very important to you.

 

 MEDITATION

 

This I know for a fact does work; but I must give a couple of precautions.

 Firstly if your illness is at a severe stage and you require medication you should not consider trying Meditation until you have been able to live without medication for at least 18 months.

It is a very intense process and requires you to face all your different emotions which can be very challenging.

People who have a history of severe illness would be safer to spend time getting counseling or doing a CBT course before considering doing an intense Meditation Course.

 Secondly it is a process which involves the purification of the whole mind and body. Every person is different so the way this happens can never be controlled or predicted. Trying to specifically get over a particular problem will never work. They all go eventually; but in their own time and order.

There are always some benefits to be had but the real benefits only come after consistent and long term practice. It is not an instant fix though it is a complete and total eradication.

 In my case it took about 12 years of practice before I recognised that my current meditation sessions were dealing with my depression issues. You are usually unaware of which particular emotion you are dealing with but in the case of depression the sensations and feelings involved were instantly recognisable.

 I will go in to greater detail about this in a follow up posting devoted solely to my experiences of dealing with depression issues while meditating. It was these experiences that have enabled me to understand more about how these emotions affect both the mind and the body.

  If you have any information about different treatments that you have used please either write them in the comments area or email me so I can include the information for the benefit of other readers.

 

email me at phantompharoah(at)gmail(dot)com if you would like to contribute anything to this site.