phantompharoah

Entry 2 Phantom tries to exert control

 

“Hey brain. You awake in there?”

“No.”

“Well get it together. You have to produce a new entry for the diary.”

“Why”

” ‘cos it’s part of your new diet. I told you I’d try and do some regular writing”

 ” I thought you were joking about that. What’s the point? What makes you think you can be any sort of writer anyway?”

 “The point is to try and stop you sending me off on tangents all the time. You got far too clever at distracting me. I didn’t know how to paint when I decided to become an artist; and I got quite good at that.”

“Maybe; but it didn’t get you anywhere.”

“That’s ‘cos you kept telling me I’d fail. Every time I finished a painting you’d keep saying “So what” “That was a waste of time” “Who cares” You stopped me from really trying to do anything with them.”

“Well I was just repaying you for screwing up my operating system with all those chemicals you pumped in to me. Besides you were told time and again that you should be doing what everyone else does. You just refused to pay attention.”

“I pumped you full of chemicals to shut you up. It was you that refused to pay attention. You knew what direction would have been best for me. Instead of helping out you put up a whole lot of emotional firewalls so I couldn’t access the files I needed. Why should I do what everyone else does anyway?”

“Because that’s what people do,and those firewalls are security barriers. They’ll protect you from getting hurt.”

“So everyone goes around playing follow the leader. What if the leader is lost?”

“Leaders are never lost. They’ll always take you where they want you to go.”

“But what if I don’t want to go there?”

“Of course you want to go there. Do you think you’re capable of deciding where you want to go?”

“Yes I do, or I would have been without those damned firewalls. All they did was make me too scared to try.”

“Well you were likely to self destruct and I’m programmed not to allow this.”

“Oh great. So to protect me from myself you stopped me knowing myself.”

“What’s the big deal about knowing yourself. All you have to do is follow the rules and life’s sweet. I know who you are that’s all that matters.”

“Well I think you’ve been conducting a misinformation campaign. Did you really think I wouldn’t eventually cotton on?”

“Most people don’t.”

“I keep trying to get through to you that I don’t want to be most people. I want to be me.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Look who’s talking. You think your so smart and can pull all the strings; but I’ve got news for you mate. I know I’ve hacked through several of your firewalls and you’re starting to freak out. You better start realising that I will be the one who ends up driving this lump of meat.”

“Why should I freak out? I know every one of your weaknesses intimately. You’ll never get close to taking over.”

“Oh yeah. Who was the one who ran away during meditation this morning huh?”

“Shut up”