Entry 6 Phantom questions the motives behind his Brains survival programming.

“OK Brain. You ready to discuss your survival programming?”

“Do we have to?”

“Yes”

“Why? You need it. Can’t be changed.”

“OK I agree it’s useful. I still reckon it needs modification.”

“In what way?”

“It needs to allow me to switch off aspects of it that I don’t want.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“No. I told you I wasn’t happy with how you can use it to over ride how I might want to live my life. You can use all sorts of emotional and chemical tricks to manipulate me; and make me think there are no other options.”

“Well you’re so slow I have to prod you in to action. What’s the big deal? At least you’re doing something.”

“The big deal is that if I either don’t want to, or can’t, go where you’re pushing me it makes me feel like some sort of human failure.”

“You play the hand you’re dealt.”

“That’s what I mean. But you stack the bloody deck in your favour. You brains do it to everyone. You make us all think there are certain things that are essential to do. If we don’t comply then our life is either being wasted,or we’re some sort of freak.”

“I’m not responsible for your emotional fragility.”

“You are so. You store everything that happens then use it as a weapon whenever it suits you to make sure you’re survival program gets followed correctly.”

“I don’t see what you’re trying to get at. What else is there apart from survival anyway?”

“How about the ability to really know who you are as a person?”

“I don’t stop that.”

“You do so. It gets back to that underlying animal behaviour activity of yours which upset you so much when I mentioned it.”

“How come?”

“You know damned well that we are a social herd type critter. Everyone wants to be part of the crowd. You make everyone think that’s all they need to do to being happy.”

“It is.”

“No it’s not. That’s only a very fleeting sort of thing that can disappear at a moments notice. What if for some reason you can’t fit in any more? What if you don’t want to do what everyone else is doing? What if you think there’s more interesting reasons for life?”

“Oh God. You’re not going to start on that metaphysical stuff again. Stick to the subject. If you want to discuss my survival program keep your weird ideas out of it.”

“They’re not weird ideas. Rubbish it all you like; I now know enough to understand a little bit about what is really going on. There is an option for me to take over the controls. Means I can adjust the survival program to suit myself and not be forced to act a certain way.”

“What. Do it my way. Fuck everyone else. Sounds American.”

“Don’t be racist.”

“I’m not. Just sounds like a similar philosophy to me.”

“That’s not the idea at all. It actually makes me a better part of the herd. It stops me over reacting to situations. If I’m really contented with who I am the fact that other people like to do things differently doesn’t upset me.”

“You’d become a doormat. Lose all your competitive edge.”

“Look you really aren’t grasping what it’s all about; and I would appreciate having you at least vaguely on my side.”

“Well your arguments have been pretty weak so far.”

“What if I told you I suspect you are not really in control; and are just being used as a pawn. There are also rules to the game you don’t know.”

“Aw shit. Give it a rest will you. So now you’re going to start on some sort of conspiracy mumbo jumbo or “Born again” crap?”

“No it’s neither. Just another way of seeing things; and using my life for a different purpose.”

“If I hear you out can we drop this whole thing?”

“I’ll promise not to discuss it with you again.”

“If I wasn’t convinced will you stop this metaphysical stuff?”

“No; it won’t stop me from doing things you may find uncomfortable. Just means I won’t give you any sort of warning. Could be more unpleasant for you.”

“So you’re actually giving me no choice at all. You want my support; but aren’t offering anything in return. No way.”

“I know you don’t believe me; but there is a return for you, and you will appreciate it in the long run. I’m just tired of having to fight you every inch of the way.”

“OK,OK get on with it then. What makes you think I’m getting used as a pawn?”

“A few days ago I raised the issue of your employment contract; and you said I couldn’t change it ‘cos much of it was written while I was in my mothers tummy. Right?”

“Yeah”

“Well since you were very much in the formative stages yourself I can’t believe you had the legal expertise to put it together.”

“I might have”

“Bullshit. It took you years to become of any sort of real intellectual use. What I’m talking about here is the real hard wired programing that your contract states you have to carry out. You didn’t write those clauses. So who did?”

“I knew it. You’re trying to play the God card.”

“No I’m not. It has nothing to do with any sort of divine entity.”

“I’m confused. What are we talking about here then?”

“OK. What did I claim were the 3 main activities that underpins most human behaviour, and are no different from animal behaviour patterns?”

“Um… Eating, sex, and protecting your territory.”

“Right. Now why do you think so much importance is put on them?”

“To stay alive you idiot.”

“That applies to eating and protecting your territory. What about sex. It may be a fun activity; but you don’t have to do it to stay alive. Why is it made so important to the psyche? Why are you forced to make sure we comply in making it happen?”

“I’m not forced.”

“Yes you are. We go along quite happily just being who we are for our early years; then you’re programmed to flood us with hormones. We go out and begin to bonk like crazy.”

“Don’t recall you complaining at the time.”

“This isn’t about how enjoyable it might be. It’s about what’s pulling the strings. Making it enjoyable is another tactic in making sure it happens.”

“Still don’t see how adding fun to your life creates a problem.”

“Don’t be dense. What is the reason sex was invented in the first place? It wasn’t so we could create a porn industry.”

“OK kill joy. To produce babies.”

“Well done. Why should we want to do that?”

“Because they’re cute? Come on we’d fizzle out if it didn’t happen?”

“Now you’re getting to the real issue here. We would die out. Perpetuation of the species is what it’s all about.”

“So.”

“We get conned in to believing that this is the only possible purpose to life. If the hormone bombardment doesn’t work there are back up systems. Women get fitted with a biological time bomb; and men have this weird sense that they have to produce kids to prove their masculinity. And you’re the one who makes sure these things get activated if someone is being a bit slow complying.”

“You saying no one should have kids? You really are off the rails. Having kids is the best thing since sliced bread for heaps of people.”

“You’re missing the point again. Haven’t you begun to understand anything I’ve said yet? I’m not saying people should stop having sex and kids. Can’t you grasp that this is simply an instinctive animal behaviour pattern hard wired in to us to make sure the species is perpetuated. And you are nothing more than an enforcer. The fact that most people enjoy the process ensures they’ll try very hard to do it. Problems arise because it is so firmly entwined in the hard drive that not being able/or wanting to carry this out can cause all sorts of emotional hassles. It’s the whole herd mentality thing.”

“OK smart arse. I agree that I’m programmed to carry these things out; and I have a clause to say must do it. So who, or what, am I doing this enforcing for?”

“What really benefits from any species being perpetuated? Every living thing has to die. Why should you be programmed to try and ensure they leave an offspring behind.”

“Well the species can adapt. Get stronger and better able to survive.”

“ But is that crucial to the individual.”

“It is if it helps them stay alive!”

“Sure; but what actually benefits from any improvements when each individual dies? Hanging out with your improved kids stops when you die; if not before. What has made the huge time investment you referred to the other day; and requires a long term return like any banker?”

“The gene pool I guess.”

“Exactly. And where would you find this?”

“ Chromosomes? DNA?”

“Yes. Chromosomes carry all the necessary strands of DNA for each species. The DNA carry all the genes that make up an individual.”

“So you’re saying that it is this DNA that is responsible for wiring the hard drive and writing my contract.”

“Precisely. The genes are the real winners in this whole process. As they’re only clumps of chemicals they don’t die as such. The genetic imprint continues from lifetime to lifetime. Ensuring this happens is all they’re after.”

“If they’re just clumps of chemicals as you say how can they do this?”

“By making sure they set all the necessary chemical pathways in place and keeping total control over them. They make sure that our basic animal instincts are tied to our emotions; and are far more powerful than our intellect. They can trigger you to use these to keep us on the party line whenever they think it’s necessary.”

“Jeez”

“Freaky Eh? You brains are at the mercy of a bunch of chemicals; and through you so are we. What most of us think is the only purpose to life is actually just following the direction these chemicals want us to go.”

“OK. Say all this is true. Sounds like they’ve got it all sewn up. What do you think you can do; and how do you expect me to help?”

“I told you earlier that there are rules to the game that you don’t know.”

“Like what?”

“You have constant access to all areas of the mind. But you are set up to make sure I don’t have the same privileges. If I should try you are programmed to throw all sorts of emotional crap and cynicism at me to put me off. You are led to believe that access is totally denied no matter what.”

“That’s to protect your sanity.”

“No it’s not. It’s to protect the interests of the gene pool. They don’t want anyone learning that following their party line isn’t the only option to life,or actually the best one.”

“What’s this got to do with different rules?”

“There’s a Joker in the pack which you aren’t told about. I am able to play this at any time and as many times as I like. It allows me to pass through any firewalls erected to keep me out of areas. I can then reduce the amount of emotional crap stored there; so you have less ammunition to throw against me.”

“So what’s this Joker look like? I still don’t see how and what I gain by helping you.”

“The Joker is my Meditation practice. That metaphysical stuff you’re so skeptical of. You can help me by being less vigorous in your opposition to change. What you will gain if you give it a chance is a far more efficient and clearer way of operating.”

“That all?”

“You’ll also start to get free of those fixed contract clauses. Instead of having to react with everything you have when you’re sent a signal you can ask why. And refuse if you want.”

“That’s a bit more interesting.”

“So we have a deal then?”

“Do I get a new employment contract?”

“I’d rather we just began to trust each other; without any of that legal stuff.”

“What if I want out? What if you start sending me mad? I want guarantees.”

“You are so goddamned stupid. You can’t even recognise that you’re just doing exactly what I was talking about to try and stop me.”

“Am not.”

“Oh fuck off. I’ll do it without your help.”

A Procrastinators Diary (Peeling your Onion)

Entry 4 The Brain disputes its animal nature

“Wakey wakey sunshine.”

(silence)

“Any one home?”

(silence continues)

“What the hell’s your problem today.”

“I got issues with you.”

“So what’s new. Snap out of it;we got an entry to write.”

“I won’t. You called me an animal.”

“No I didn’t. I said you’re main programming is the same as an animals.”

“How many animals do you know who understand quantum physics?”

“ How many humans do you know who do? I’m not referring to your vaunted intellect. I’m talking about why your actions make people do things that will dictate how their life pans out.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You know. Basic animal actions. Eat,screw and protect your territory.”

“So? Everyone has to survive.”

“True. But I think it sucks that you have a total override function that can kick in whenever you decide.”

“ I Haven’t.”

“You have so. And you’re very sneaky with it too. You use our emotions to make sure you get what you want.”

“What’s wrong with that? Not much point you having emotions if I can’t use them.”

“Well you’re too heavy handed. You just remove all options when it suits you. If someone can’t do what you’re telling them they must it really screws them up.”

“Bullshit. That’s why you got given an intellect.”

“Yeah, but you made damned sure it wasn’t as strong as the emotions; and access to their controls was very carefully hidden. Most people don’t even know they can look for them.”

“I still don’t see the problem.”

“You wouldn’t, ‘cos you think this whole survival thing is all that’s important. As long as the person is alive you don’t care if they are actually happy about the fact.”

“You’re nuts. Why should I accept responsibility for anyones happiness.”

“Because you admitted that you don’t filter anything that happens. You just store everything on your hard drive. You allow emotional issues to keep on stockpiling. If your survival program gets threatened, you override the intellect and hit the person on the head with them. You don’t care if the resulting action causes someone to spend the rest of their life paying for the consequences.”

“You’re responsible for your own actions. Don’t blame me.”

“Admittedly but you’re still not an innocent party here. Your sticky fingerprints can be seen all over the cookie jar.”

“No they’re not.”

“ Are too. Constantly pushing this whole survival trip you’re on makes most people think that’s all there is to life.”

“Stop sounding off about my survival program. You agreed everyone has to survive.”

“You really can’t comprehend the difference between survival and living can you? As far as you’re concerned perpetuation of the species is all that matters. Basic animal behaviour has to take precedence. Survival of the fittest, Law of the jungle and all that stuff.”

“Listen dude there’s been a huge time investment made in developing you critters. Do you think you should be allowed to blow that?”

“Yes I do but I haven’t got time to argue it with you now. We were supposed to be writing an entry for the diary and you’ve sent me sideways again. I have to try and remember how to go about setting up a web site.”

“What about.”

“Thought I’d make one just for this diary.”

“Why? Who’d want to read it?”

“Probably no one. But you’re obviously going totally senile and have forgotten the purpose of this already. I’m supposed to be setting myself goals and trying to achieve them.”

“Oh.”

“Yo brain”

“Piss off”

“No; we got to do this”

“It’s bullshit”

“How do you know. It’s only the third day.”

“I don’t like it”

“Give it a chance. It might grow on you.”

“I tell you it’s a waste of time.”

“So what you want to do.”

“Play Play Station.”

“Don’t have one.”

“Surf the net.”

“Don’t have any internet time left.”

“Go to the pub”

“You know I don’t drink.”

“Watch TV.”

“There’s only crap on.”

“So what. At least I won’t have to think.”

“No. Your neurons need some exercise. Their voltage is getting pretty low lately.”

“Start another painting.”

“No one can afford  them. I want to learn something new.”

“You’re too old; and I’m tired.”

“Too old for what? I’m not trying to become a rocket scientist.”

“May as well be.”

“Hey give me a break. Bit of cerebral exercise might perk you up, make you  feel better.”

“I want to go back to bed.”

“Why do you always try and stop me doing something that might be interesting.”

“Because you have such harebrained ideas. It always stresses me. You  leap in at the deep end without even teaching me  to swim. I  want to be normal.”

“Normal what; what’s your criteria?”

“Normal human you idiot. You know. Steady job,house,wife,kids. Forget about all this wishy washy metaphysical stuff you try and force on me.”

“Go on, be a cynic. If it hadn’t been for something metaphysical you’d have really screwed me years ago.”

“I was only doing my job.”

“And bloody hopeless at it you turned out to be. I’ve been trying to fire you for as long as I’ve known you. I never even got to see your CV.”

“Brains don’t need one. Our contract gets written while you’re still happily tucked in your mothers belly. You can’t fire me; read the fine print.”

“Don’t get too complacent turkey. That metaphysical stuff you rubbish has provided me with some very good legal advice. There is an escape clause to terminate your contract. It might be tricky; but it can be done. I’ve already got the process started.”

“Bastard.”

“You should have studied more history. Dictators seldom win any popularity contests. They come to a sorry end eventually.”

“I’ll litigate your arse off. I got evolutionary rights.”

“Just because your hardwiring is purely animal instinct don’t give you no rights.”

“I’ll give you writers block.”

“You are really pathetic.”

“Hey brain. You awake in there?”

“No.”

“Well get it together. You have to produce a new entry for the diary.”

“Why”

” ‘cos it’s part of your new diet. I told you I’d try and do some regular writing”

 ” I thought you were joking about that. What’s the point? What makes you think you can be any sort of writer anyway?”

 “The point is to try and stop you sending me off on tangents all the time. You got far too clever at distracting me. I didn’t know how to paint when I decided to become an artist; and I got quite good at that.”

“Maybe; but it didn’t get you anywhere.”

“That’s ‘cos you kept telling me I’d fail. Every time I finished a painting you’d keep saying “So what” “That was a waste of time” “Who cares” You stopped me from really trying to do anything with them.”

“Well I was just repaying you for screwing up my operating system with all those chemicals you pumped in to me. Besides you were told time and again that you should be doing what everyone else does. You just refused to pay attention.”

“I pumped you full of chemicals to shut you up. It was you that refused to pay attention. You knew what direction would have been best for me. Instead of helping out you put up a whole lot of emotional firewalls so I couldn’t access the files I needed. Why should I do what everyone else does anyway?”

“Because that’s what people do,and those firewalls are security barriers. They’ll protect you from getting hurt.”

“So everyone goes around playing follow the leader. What if the leader is lost?”

“Leaders are never lost. They’ll always take you where they want you to go.”

“But what if I don’t want to go there?”

“Of course you want to go there. Do you think you’re capable of deciding where you want to go?”

“Yes I do, or I would have been without those damned firewalls. All they did was make me too scared to try.”

“Well you were likely to self destruct and I’m programmed not to allow this.”

“Oh great. So to protect me from myself you stopped me knowing myself.”

“What’s the big deal about knowing yourself. All you have to do is follow the rules and life’s sweet. I know who you are that’s all that matters.”

“Well I think you’ve been conducting a misinformation campaign. Did you really think I wouldn’t eventually cotton on?”

“Most people don’t.”

“I keep trying to get through to you that I don’t want to be most people. I want to be me.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Look who’s talking. You think your so smart and can pull all the strings; but I’ve got news for you mate. I know I’ve hacked through several of your firewalls and you’re starting to freak out. You better start realising that I will be the one who ends up driving this lump of meat.”

“Why should I freak out? I know every one of your weaknesses intimately. You’ll never get close to taking over.”

“Oh yeah. Who was the one who ran away during meditation this morning huh?”

“Shut up”

Entry 1 Phantom informs his brain it is due for an upgrade

Phantom “OK bite the bullet and start this thing.”

Brain “What do you hope to achieve with this.”

“Dunno really, maybe just try and get a bit of regular writing happening.”

“Writing what?”

“Anything, doesn’t matter. Things I find interesting. Random thoughts.”

“Could be dangerous. Some of your thoughts are pretty random.”

“Sure but I usually forget them.”

“Probably the best thing.”

“Aw come on they’re not all bizarre. Besides I can also record other things I’ve done. See if I get better at not goofing off.”

“You definitely need to improve.”

“Yeah well I’m going through a difficult transition.”

“You caused it.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier.”

“How’s this going to help? “

“Well all those positive thinking things say you need to start setting goals.”

“You never do that.”

“I used to but gave up. Everything I aimed for turned to custard.”

“That’s ‘cos you always shot yourself in the foot.”

“Maybe I should learn to dance, improve my foot work?”

“You’d need more than that, besides you’re an old man.”

“Hey it’s never too late to change, besides this is mainly about my head space.”

“Well space is the operative word. It’s turning in to a vacuum in here.”

“Great isn’t it. You’re just getting scared ‘cos my meditation has got rid of so much crap that I’m close to being able to control you. Are you getting lonely not being able to constantly chatter on inanely any more?”

“Careful with this inane stuff. I am a highly sophisticated piece of genetic development.”

“Maybe….but you’re really pretty stupid. How come you allowed me to screw up your operating system with all that negative stuff I used to be involved in?”

“I’m not supposed to be selective. What you put in I record on the hard drive.”

“Yeah well I’m going to continue deleting stuff; and this is the start of trying to install new software.. You’re obsolete and seriously out dated.”

“Upgrades cause problems. They may not be compatible with the operating system. Has it been tested? Have you read the reviews?”

“Oh shut up. I don’t care. It might regain some of the efficiency you once had. Your insatiable appetite for junk food made you so frigging fat and lazy you could hardly operate.”

“So your failures are my fault are they? Who was the cook and provided the meals eh?”

“Me. I know. I’ve decided to try you on a different diet.”

“But I like junk food.”

“Tough titties.”

“Shit.”