phantompharoah

 PIECE OF MIND

 The act of living is a very complex process. We are buffeted and affected by events and pressures on so many different levels.

While some of these are obvious, and can be worked through or altered, there are a lot of others that are either on a subconscious level, or due to external events totally beyond our means of avoiding.

The subconscious pressures can be the most devastating. Our lack of ability to recognise these, or deal with them correctly,leads us in to actions which increases the way they impact on our lives.

This is then likely to create a cycle of events where the myth starts to become the reality. When this begins to happen many of the pieces that make up our life jigsaw either never get the chance to be put in place , or are removed and lost.

The longer this process goes on the more difficult it can be to break the cycle, and things start to get a bit on the overwhelming side.

Struggling to find, or maintain, your direction in life when  all the pieces you need to complete the picture just don’t seem to be there, isn’t easy. Insecurities start to multiply. Lack of self confidence,low self esteem and depression are common results.

Many people face this dilemma; due to a variety of circumstances. For some it starts from a very early age; while for others it is brought on by a sudden trauma.

Childhood trauma,lack of education,illness or accident,social upheaval are just a few of the myriad of possible triggers.

No matter what the cause, dealing with the results, and attempting to overcome them, requires the same mental struggle.

The most difficult hurdle to face is the admission that there is something that needs to be addressed or resolved. If you are living with a sense of inferiority then admitting this even to yourself is daunting.

It is important to do this though as this is the start of the healing process. Acknowledgment allows a more objective mindset to grow.

This helps us accept and let go of events over which we usually had no control. The act of letting go is what starts raising our self esteem. Without doing this the tendency to feel a victim or the cause of your own problems can never be truly overcome.

Life circumstances might be far from ideal; but it is still possible to feel worthwhile and secure within yourself. The more you are able to let go of the stronger your sense of self becomes. This is the only criteria by which you should measure your progress.

Our natural desire for acceptance means we have often conditioned ourselves to place other peoples opinion or judgment of us above our own.

The only person who truly knows where you are at is you. Trust this person above all others.

The ability to smile and keep a light heart even when times are tough is the most valuable thing you can achieve in life.

Expecting an easy ride through life is a total pipe dream. Learning to develop your inner core of peace and happiness will enable you to ride out the storms without getting overwhelmed.

 My Tale
Painted in 1985 when I was coming out of what were probably some of my worst years. The psychological withdrawal from my drug years was a lot more difficult and prolonged than the physical withdrawals. My life to this period had most certainly removed some pretty important pieces from the jigsaw.

 Obviously I hadn’t totally screwed my spiritual perspective though. I understood on an intellectual level the value of being able to stay happy in the midst of disaster. I did put the beginnings of a smile on the dude after all!!

It would take me another 20 years of pretty intensive effort though before I could say that my experience began to match my intellect. If I had not fallen in to the drug trap I would still have had to overcome all the insecurities I had developed early in life.They would not have been so completely buried though, and the process would have no doubt been a lot quicker.

Always one of my favourite work and one of the few paintings whose location I am still aware of. It managed to survive my periods of artwork destruction .

I thought I had handled the concept pretty well, though my painting skills had not enabled me to do some of the things I had would have liked.

 

This is the painting I used to make the video on my home page. Colour. Sepia, Black and White prints in a range of sizes are available at http://phantompharoah.deviantart.com/

 

Continuing with my artwork and then starting my Meditation journey was how I have managed to begin rebuilding the jigsaw.

Do you have a method or process that has helped you to rebuild from any sort of emotional trauma?

Different things work for different people. If you would like to share what helped you please do. It could help change another persons life.

If so email me at phantompharoah(at)gmail(dot)com