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	<title>phantompharoah &#187; Vanity</title>
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		<title>The Vanity Trap</title>
		<link>http://www.phantompharoah.com/archives/396</link>
		<comments>http://www.phantompharoah.com/archives/396#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:11:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Linz</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pitfalls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vanity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[low self esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[narcissism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vanity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.phantompharoah.com/?p=396</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
 
                                       Vanity-Social Veneer    
 
Pride in ones&#8217; appearance and personal grooming are healthy signs of a good self image. Keeping an interest in fashion and trends makes everyday living fun and enjoyable. 
Where it goes all pear shaped is when these things become obsessions.  
Humans are a visual animal; so we do make a lot of our judgments by what [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm"><a rel="attachment wp-att-630" href="http://www.phantompharoah.com/archives/396/2005-vanity-side-view"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-630" title="2005 Vanity side view" src="http://www.phantompharoah.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/2005-Vanity-side-view.jpg" alt="2005 Vanity side view" width="550" height="995" /></a> </p>
<h1 style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">      <span style="color: #808000;">                                 <span style="color: #c0c0c0;">V</span><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">anity-</span>Social Veneer   </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></h1>
<p style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; TEXT-DECORATION: none" align="center"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #ffcc99;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Pride in ones&#8217; appearance and personal grooming are healthy signs of a good self image. Keeping an interest in fashion and trends makes everyday living fun and enjoyable.</span></span><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Where it goes all pear shaped is when these things become obsessions. </span> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Humans are a visual animal; so we do make a lot of our judgments by what we see. Our totally commercial based society has preyed on this fact. We are constantly being bombarded with images, and articles, about how we should look / dress /act. </span> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>All of this is so that we may appear successful or acceptable in other peoples eyes. And make a lot of money for the fashion / cosmetic / health industries.</strong></span> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It has absolutely nothing to do with how you feel about yourself; even though a</span><span style="font-size: medium;"> good sense of self worth, and individuality, is very important for mental health.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">What is damaging is the peer, or social, pressure to conform in a certain way. Being judged mostly on how you look, or what you own, begins to erode your sense of value as an actual person; and who you are. You focus totally on how other people see you.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. This should be for who we are; not just our image.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-size: medium;">Jealousy or envy; if you are unable to afford the current image, breeds low self esteem.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Spending money you can ill afford, or acts of theft and violence, to keep up appearances can result.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Having the money to get whatever you want simply raises the stakes. Extreme measures get taken to obtain an illussionary perfect shape.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="font-size: medium;">  </span><span style="font-size: medium;">The human species has a very large and varied gene base. People come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. </span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Perpetual youth, and certain body types, are what are portrayed as the ideal human form.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Keeping fit and active to maintain vitality makes common sense. Dieting,drugs, or surgery to obtain someone elses&#8217; ideal of how you should look shows how little value we are actually placing on ourselves as a person.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><em><strong>Image and personal identity  are totally different things.</strong></em> Many people are unable to distinguish beween the two which is where they get trapped in the vanity cycle.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Once the image mentality takes over the tendency to be critical, and judgmental of yourself and others is the norm. If you are unable to live up to either your own, or others expectations, the gradual reduction of your self esteem begins.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">A </span></span></span><span style="font-size: medium;">sense of personal identity is understanding that<strong><em> you</em></strong> are what is important. <strong>How you feel about yourself is the only thing that really matters.</strong> This may sound like it is totally self centred; but in reality it is the opposite. </span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">When you are firmly grounded in yourself the ego gets subdued. There is no need for conceit or judgment. You accept yourself and all others as they are.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">These people will not need to project any sort of superficial image.Inner acceptance brings a beauty all of its own which cannot be faked.</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><em><strong><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">In a shallow and superficial society little value is placed on  who you really are, or what you think. </span></strong></em></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">What have been your experiences with keeping up appearances?</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Have you ever felt like an object rather than a person?</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">Have you faced discrimination because of how you are?</span></span></p>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0cm; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"> </span></p>
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