By: Linz

Linz — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 02:28:37 +0000

Hi Sophiaw
I can sympathise with the drawn out nature of an infatuation. I am curious about your comment though. You say you never met the person face to face but they didn’t always treat you very nicely. I don’t actually understand this. In hindsight I realise that the most crucial step in getting over an infatuation is when you accept it for what it is. The old saying love is blind is a mild description of infatuation.
The major mistake I made was to not accept the impossibility of the situation and move on. Usually in cases of infatuation we build the other person up in our minds to think they will create some sort of ideal life for us. The truth is that no body has this ability, so at some point there would have been a major realisation of this fact with the corresponding emotional let down.
If you are able to try and look at any areas where you know things would not have lived up to your ideals,or the situation was impossible it will help you to start getting a more realistic view on the situation. Believe me when I say that in several years you will look back and think; God I’m glad that didn’t happen.
I know it is hard to consider starting any other sort of relationship either after or during something like this but it is important to try. Infatuation is a form of obsessive behaviour in that the mind gets locked in to one way of thinking. Another way of moving on if you don’t wish to try another relationship is to develop or expand any other activity that interests you. Something else you feel capable of being passionate about.
Rechannelling your thoughts is the key to breaking the cycle. Whenever you find yourself thinking of the person make the conscious effort to stop, acknowledge to yourself that it was happening, (DO NOT BE NEGATIVE TO YOURSELF ABOUT IT), and switch to thinking about something else. It can be anything, what you’re having for dinner, something new you want to buy. The idea is to break the thought pattern and stop it keeping such a firm grip.
Initially you may find it difficult to do. It is important to just keep trying to stop the thoughts by redirecting your mind. Another way you can do this is to just start trying to focus your mind on your breathing . You don’t try to change it or anything, just be aware of it. As I emphasised earlier do not be hard on yourself when you discover you keep falling back in to the same old thought patterns. These things take time to change. Accept it and just keep stopping yourself whenever you can. Gradually you will find it gets easier and the old thought patterns will occur less frequently and for shorter periods of time.
I hope all of this makes some sense to you and is of some use. Unfortunately it is something that takes time to overcome as you are well aware. From my personal experience the longer you permit it to dominate your life the more difficult it is to overcome. You have made the step of recognising the problem so you have the ability to beat it.
Cheers
Linz

By: sophiaw1111

sophiaw1111 — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 05:08:07 +0000

Five years later and I am still not over an infatuation with someone I’ve never seen face-to-face, and who didn’t exactly always treat me very nicely. I had never been infatuated with anyone before this. Normally I found it hard to become interested in anyone. I would love to get over it but I don’t think it will ever happen.

Comments on: Infatuation

By: Linz

By: sophiaw1111